Farewell Talk

When my older cousin was only 3 years old, his great grandmother passed away. My aunt found him sitting alone in his room with his head in his hands not playing but looking sad. She asked him what was wrong, he said, "It is just so sad that we will never see grandma again." My aunt sat down and taught him about him about the plan of salvation. She told him of Christ’s atonement and how because of his sacrifice every living thing will be resurrected and they will see grandma again someday. He lit up and said, "That is good news! That is such good news!” 

My favorite part about this story is that unbeknownst to my 3 year old cousin, the word ‘gospel’ actually comes from the Old English god meaning "good" and spel meaning "news” or “story." The gospel literally is good news.

I’d like to officially announce that I’ve been called to share the “good news” as a full-time missionary in the Idaho Pocatello mission beginning this Wednesday.

I’ve wanted to serve a mission since I was 13 years old. I never wanted to before that, and I don’t remember exactly what it was that changed my mind, but I know D+C 18: 10 had a lot to do with it: “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. 13 And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth! 14 Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people. 15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! 16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!”

At the time I think I focused more on the “how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me.” I’ve come to see how focusing on a misinterpretation of this verse can harmfully warp the true meaning of missionary work in many ways.

For starters, I believe 13 year old me read “how great will be your joy” and thought serving a mission was a good way to prove myself to God and ensure my own salvation in a way. As I truly studied the Book of Mormon and gained a testimony of my own, I came to see that the concern should be for the salvation of others, rooted in a Christ-like love and compassion for them. When Lehi recounts his vision of the tree of life in Nephi 8, he shows his true love for his family: “And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.”

I’ve come to realize that my favorite teachers over the years all had one thing in common. They were all passionate about what they taught, be it physics, literature, seminary, astronomy or even dissecting animals. You could see how much they really cared about their craft and they wanted you to care too, they were sharing their passion. Their true joy and enthusiasm contrasted greatly to other teachers who seemed primarily concerned with grades or results. These are the classes I really remember and enjoyed and continue to recommend. I know this is the kind of teacher I want to be as a missionary. I want to strengthen my passion for the gospel and share it with others. Like my aunt with my cousin, and Lehi with his family, I want to share the joy and peace the truth of the gospel brings and do what I can to bring others to Heavenly Father.

In his conference talk earlier this year. Elder Uchtdorf said: “Understand that it’s not your job to convert people. That is the role of the Holy Ghost. Your role is to share what is in your heart and live consistent with your beliefs.” This reminded me of something that stuck out to me while I was reading Preach My Gospel for my mission prep class: It says that “people have agency to choose whether to accept your message. Your responsibility is to teach clearly and powerfully so they can make an informed choice.” This really struck me because 2 Nephi 2 has always been one of my favorite chapters of the Book of Mormon. The concept of agency is so interesting and important to me and I know it is crucial to God’s plan. But in order for people to truly exercise their agency they must first have an actual choice. They have to have options to choose from. Verse 16 reads: “the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.” As a missionary I want to help people learn of their options and make a truly informed decision. I think we have a tendency to emphasize baptism in missionary work, perhaps another misinterpretation of the D+C verse, focusing on the “how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me” but this part of Preach My Gospel makes it clear that baptisms are not a measure of a missionary’s success.

My mission call letter states: “Your purpose will be to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.” This statement tells me that baptism is only one of my 5 purposes as a missionary. If I can help someone along the way of any of these steps, I’m fulfilling my purpose. This applies to everyday missionary experiences just as much as full time missionary work. Even though it is left out of the 4th article of faith, the 5th principle, enduring to the end, is just as important and is clearly a part of Christ’s gospel as outlined in the Book of Mormon. As we fellowship with one another, magnify our callings, minster and even teach family home evening we are helping each other endure to the end. We can help build God’s kingdom by maintaining and repairing what has already been constructed.

Focusing on the “many souls” means losing track of the verse that comes right before it “if you bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him” It’s like Loren Eisely’s story, which I’m sure we are all familiar with by now, of the young man throwing starfish into the ocean. When asked why, he says, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die." the other man replies, "But, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one.”

We may never know the impact even a simple bearing of a testimony can have on someone. But God does, and if the last few months have shown me anything, it’s that Satan does too, and he will do whatever he can to prevent it.

I first began to face this opposition The day I finally decided to set an appointment with my bishop at byu to open my mission application papers. I was filled with self-doubt and confusion and went to the devotional the next day hoping for some undeniable confirmation or encouragement, fully expecting the speaker to focus on repentance and worthiness. But M Joseph Brough, second counselor in the Young Men general presidency, chose to speak about the “modern mighty women of Israel” One story he told has stuck with me:

“During an attack on [an] English fort outside Orléans, an arrow hit [teenage Joan of Arc] above the breast in plain sight of everyone in the battle. While Joan had her wounds dressed, the French, who had been attacking all day long, faltered. As her troops were retreating, Joan returned, stuck her banner on the edge of the ditch surrounding the fort, and declared, “There should be no retreat.” Both the French and English soldiers who previously thought she was dead—or at least mortally wounded—were shocked. The French gained courage and attacked; the English were afraid and fled. Joan's troops took the fort with little resistance.”

There will be no retreat became my new motto, because after all retreating is exactly what Satan wants us to do. I met with my bishop and opened my mission papers the very next day. Though I might not yet have Joan of Arc’s strength, I chose to be inspired by it. Much like she and her banner depicting Christ, the Virgin Mary, and two angels inspired courage in her troops and instilled fear in her enemies. Whether you choose to see her as a military general or just a morale-boosting publicity stunt, her impact is undeniable: 9 victories out of 13 battles, and at least 30 cities surrendering without a fight. Learning she was dark-haired, 5’2, and 19 years old when she died certainly didn’t hurt, though fortunately I don’t have to worry about being burnt at the stake for wearing pants.

But as mission mtc report date quickly approached, I began to relate more to Peter, sinking into the water as he began to fear the winds bellowing around him. Two weeks ago my family spent a good 4 hours at the tree runner ropes course in grand rapids. With my mind subconsciously preoccupied with my own fears and anxieties, I couldn’t help but find an object lesson. As the rope courses increased in difficulty, I began to realize that sometimes there is no turning back, all you can do is keep pushing forward. The only way out is through. It might be scary or uncomfortable, but as long as you are anchored in your faith, as long as you wear your harness and secure your click-its to the cable, it will be okay. Most of the courses ended with a zipline. I wondered, if there had been a ladder at those final trees, would I have talked myself out of it and taken the last minute way out? But there was no ladder, I could either stay stuck up there or just go down the zipline. So that’s what I told myself. All you can do is go down the zipline. The longer you wait and look down the harder it will be to step off the safety of a familiar ledge. So you don't think, you just go, and trust that you’re gear will keep you safe. With my mission it’s like I’m at the top of a zipline and I have no choice but to wait until September 18th. Stuck in the meantime, I have every opportunity to overthink and accumulate fear. But there’s no turning back, there will be no retreat, it will be okay as long as I put my trust in the Lord.

I strive to follow Elder Uchtdorf’s guidance to “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith”  We all know the phrase from the classic primary song, faith is like a little seed if planted it will grow. However a closer reading of Alma’s experiment shows the truth: faith is not the seed, the word of God is the seed, faith is the action of planting it. The results of this act of faith can lead to sure knowledge, but sometimes it is enough to just have faith. Sometimes we want knowledge but what we need is to have faith. There are somethings we won’t know but we have to trust that “all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.” and that “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

This experience at tree runner reminded me of when I read the Wizard of Oz a few summers ago. One of the major differences I found between the original book and iconic film we all know and love is the character of the cowardly lion. Rather than being a wimpy overgrown scaredy cat, he is actually a fearsome warrior always performing acts of bravery without hesitation like leaping across chasms and fighting off tiger-bear hybrids and winged monkeys. He only thinks himself a coward because he knows he’s actually afraid underneath it all. What he doesn’t understand is that true courage is not the absence of fear, it is facing and overcoming those fears. He thinks he is a coward because he has fears and doesn’t realize that this is exactly what makes him brave. I think the same rule applies to faith. Faith is not the absence of doubt, but facing and overcoming those doubts.

I have faith in and truly believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet of the Lord, that the fullness of the gospel was restored through him, he translated the Book of Mormon through the power of God. I have faith in and believe that through the loving sacrifice of Christ’s atonement we can all return to our Heavenly Father. I know that this is the good news we must share with the world. 3 ne 12:14, after Christ had organized the church among the Nephites he said to the leaders “I give unto you to be the light of this people” the Lighthouse of God’s love and mercy is ever present and unmoving. But without the lower lights a ship will be lost or crash against a dangerous shoreline. It is up to us to tend the lower lights and bring each other safely to shore. I can point to people who have been lantern bearers for me throughout my life, especially over the past few months, to whom I’m eternally grateful. I’m ready to lose myself in the work, and become a tool in God’s hand to hopefully return the favor and become a lantern bearer for at least one starfish on the beach.

Closing song: Brightly Beams Our Father’s Mercy