The One Where Dunn Learned to Love Herself by Overthinking like Cwazy

Companion's Log
Stardate: Oct 19-Nov 1, 2020

Okay so sorry I didn't get to writing my email last week things have been crazy and it's all a blur and it's hard to remember and explain.

But basically what happened is I decided to start overthinking my problems to try to actually help myself instead of waiting to be helped, even though I had asked for help, and needed that help, and didn't really have the time or means necessary to help myself, but I tried anyway and I liked it. I realized how I'm usually not very aware of my emotions and thought processes at all, so I decided to try to pay attention and figure out what is causing those emotions. I was able to learn a lot about myself and the root of some problems and stuff, it was also just more confusing at times. And I was right it took a lot of time and attention. But by the end, with some help from friends I was able to reach some break throughs and finally actually say that I love myself and start letting go of the lies I believe that are harmful to me.  

So that was awesome. I got some revelation and it felt so good and amazing and like I could finally finally see how my trials are shaping me into a better person. And I could finally feel that joy and that love and feel close to Heavenly Father. 

But then

For some reason on Monday I had a crazy mood swing or something, I still don't really know why or what happened. But suddenly I no longer had access to those feelings, and no matter how much I wanted it and tried so hard to hold on I couldn't maintain it. It made it feel like the beautiful spiritual experience didn't mean anything, I couldn't feel the impact of it anymore. I'm still trying to understand it all and it's been pretty rough and exhausting but I know that I still have made a lot of progress. Maybe not as much as I hoped or thought that I did but that doesn't make it unimportant. I have hope now. And I'm holding on to that. And I know that this will all be for my good and will shape me into the person I need to become.

Also I got my new companion Sister Cottrell and I love her so much already. I finally have someone I click with, we understand each other so well, we're practically the same person it's amazing. And we went to our wards trunk or treat and Jimmy got transferred to my greenie area in the east stake! It's so great to have friends out here again

-Sister Dunn out